Football is OUR Sport?

My boy is everything a wonderful 7 year old boy should be. I know I am biased, but he is cute and charming, rough and tough, silly and fun and has the attention span of a mentally retarded knat. This shortened attention span coupled with his exceptional stamina make his involvement with sports not an option but utterly necessary if we are to retain any sanity as his parents. As we have traveled down the road of organized sports with our son, there have been a few bumps along the way. We have tried almost every sport with him and while he likes them all none of them have captured his heart and therefore he doesn't stick with them very long. Baseball was a trial on all of our patience. There is just to much time hanging out for him...remember, very short attention span. Swimming was great to wear him out, but going back and forth in a pool for an hour every day bored him to the the point of hatred. Soccer is fun for him but the sport requires skills and that dreaded ability to pay attention. We are rapidly running out of options except the one option we have been resisting for years...football.

Football is not my son's sport. I have told myself this for at least 2 years now as he has begged me to sign him up season after season. He is my baby boy and I just can't bring myself to put him in the middle of a field and watch him become the target of a well placed tackle. He will get hurt. This is not a guess or prediction, this is a fact. The other fact, the one that has probably stopped me more than anything else from signing him up, he will hurt someone. You see, even though I can say out loud that football is not my son's sport, I know in my hearts of hearts that it is and at some point of his football career he is going to probably dominate.

You see, for my boy, life is a full contact sport and always has been. In fact, one of my tactics for not signing him up for football before was because it was a flag football league. When I explained how it would work my boy was disgusted and disappointed that they would consider having a football game without tackling. "What's the point, Mom?" Apparently, that argument has ceased to exist because while they won't let a 6 year old play tackle football, reaching the magical age of 7 is all it takes to be able to successfully beat the living crap out of someone and call it sport! It is eerily reminiscent to the days of Gladiators and true blood sports.

My little Gladiator happily took to the field a few weeks ago and has never been happier. I begrudgingly admit that he is doing well, having fun and even learning about the game. He wants to make his Coach happy and although he has no idea yet who the running back is, he tackles every kid in his field of vision until his coach rewards him with a hit on his helmet and a "good tackle". They practice for 2 hours a night, 3 nights a week and let me tell you, it is cold! As the "football" parent (because my husband is across town sitting on a pool deck for 2 1/2 hours 5 nights a week) the consolation of enduring the long cold evening is the sheer entertainment factor these little gladiators provide. Just imagine a group of little boys, most of them not even weighing 50 pounds soaking wet, running around with 10 pound ginormous helmets on their heads and no pads. It's like watching Revenge of the Bobble Heads.

But these Bobble Heads are fierce and they are coming together rather nicely. They can successfully tackle each other, sack the quarterback (as soon as they figure out which one he is) and even make some pass completions. Of course, for many the simple fact of successfully catching the ball is a little overwhelming which essentially stops any further forward motion on the play. They run around like mad men, do push ups, high knees, and various other drills in their quest for greatness. They are going to be unstoppable when they hit the field against an opposing bobble head team when the time comes!

So begrudgingly but proudly I can now say I am a football mom. I sit on the sideline and root for my little boy to pummel the crap out of other kids. I have given him permission to "knock him down until he can't get back up again". He is committed to staying in the game no matter what. Just last night he came home with blood on his jersey and he was a little disappointed to realize it wasn't his own. I reassured him it was only a matter of time and it would be his blood that would be shed. He is a football player. Watch out bobble heads, my boy is coming to a field near you!

Cake in a Cup

Cake in a cup. No, seriously, there are recipes out there for a multitude of different flavored personal creations that you can make in a matter of minutes utilizing one single coffee mug. What sadistic wacko came up with this idea? I'm pretty sure it was an employee at a sweat pant manufacturer or leisure wear conglomerate or I know...the makers of those Pajama Jeans! Because let me tell you, once you cross over and enter the world of cake in a cup those pajama jeans are going to be the only thing you will be able to put on!

In all honesty, the concept is genius. How many times have you wanted a little something sweet, but realizing the limits of your will power or the fact that you have absolutely none, you deny that sweet tooth craving. But alas, the craving doesn't just go away! In fact, it deepens, festers, patiently waiting for just the right moment to rear its ugly head. It catches you off guard and quickly consumes you until you find yourself a pitiful heap of lost consciousness completely unaware of your surroundings or the passage of time clutching a chocolate covered fork and licking what was once a lovely serving platter that brimmed with 3/4 of a decadent Death by Chocolate 3 layer cake. The only will power you have remaining is quickly summoned to hide the glutenous evidence and concoct a plausible story to cover your  chocolate crumb trail.

So really, the concept of having a single serving of decadent goodness in under 5 minutes could save countless regret laden binge fests. The reality of the situation is that having a warm and gooey personal cake in less that 5 minutes is entirely to convenient for most of us that suffer from the debilitating affliction of IHAVENOWILLPOWERitis. People, I found the recipe for Nutella Cake in a Cup 2 days ago and I already know the ingredients by heart!

These little treats don't skimp on yummy calorie loaded goodness either. This is not a healthy eating alternative. Although, I do make myself feel better by using organic flour, milk and eggs in my creations but somehow I don't think that negates the health issues that arise with the Nutella, sugar and oil. While web surfing for additional cake in a cup recipes I came across an 100 calorie version, but for some reason I skipped right over that one. Maybe when my pajama jeans don't fit anymore I will revisit that possibility.

In the meantime I have come up with an absolutely fabulous cake in a cup indulgent idea that is masked as a selfless and giving gesture. The end of the school year is rapidly approaching and therefore teacher gifts must be thought out and created. My mission, to gather and taste test as many cake in a cup creations, photographing my journey and assembling them and the winning receipies into a mini book lovingly bound and placed in a cake in a cup worthy mug decorated by my kids! Feel free to jump on this band wagon with me and in the meantime I will contact Pajama Jeans and see if we can get a discount on a bulk order.

The Beast known as Pinterest

I have issues. OK, I know we have already established that I have many issues but let's touch on only one at a time. I am the queen of the wild hair and lately I have sprouted more wild hairs than a Bigfoot has covering its entire body. I really don't know what comes over me but I can tell you that it comes in spurts, which is probably the only reason I remain married. My family has learned that the roller coaster that is my wild hair binges will only be around for a short while. Like a brilliant star, I will burn bright, blinding all those in my mini orbit only to putter out until I once again return to the comfort of monitoring the sofa and making sure no one steals it.

My latest wild hair binge is different though and I think it is scaring us all, me included. My normal "I just gotta get some stuff done" mantra has a new fuel, a drug, an enabling entity that threatens life as we know it...Pinterest!

Hello, My name is ______ (go ahead, insert your name, it is the first step after all) and I am a Pinterest Addict. I am known to sit up late at night, become engrossed while at my children's practices and anytime I am the passenger in the car you can find me cyber surfing the mother of all addicting web sites. I have wasted hours and hours perusing through pages and pages of fresh new ideas, recipes, crafts, quotes and just about anything that I can. I "pin" ideas constantly in anticipation that I will go back and take that idea and make it my own. Beautiful spaces crowd the pages and I want my home to look like those. I have been reduced to an envious, coveting fiend that wields a "to do" list like it is Excalibur. I will have a Pinterest worthy life even if it kills me!

In the last two weeks my Pinterest fueled wild hair and I have painted the master bathroom a beautiful sage green and accessorized it with rich tones of chocolate brown and forest green. Baseboards, doors and vanity were all freshened up with bright white paint and now we all refer to the area as our "grown ups" bathroom. I am in my 40s and I finally have a "grown up" room!

My Pinterest wild hair and I then moved outdoors and enlisted the help of my husband to dig out, frame and pour a new concrete walkway in the back yard. That was a two day project that included 1,710 pounds of concrete, 500 pounds of gravel and countless dirty looks of exasperation from my spouse. Our walkway is a thing of beauty but my wild hair was still not satisfied. We then moved massive amounts of dirt around to create a new flower bed with freshly planted ground cover and a wine barrel garden of fresh flowers. While we were at it we also planted some grass seed to try to bring back the area we trampled out during the concrete path project. You would think after all that we would be tired...well, I was at least but my wild hair still had other Pinterest ideas.

Currently, Pinterest Wild Hair and I are in the midst of a building project. With the rejuvenation of the back yard we are sorely lacking seating areas so bring on the benches! We are building 4 solid wood benches that can be rearranged and changed like a modular sofa to add seating, table space and countless other possibilities, which I am sure will be inspired by Pinterest. As I was dragging out the table saw for this latest foray into home improvement wonderfulness, I found myself promising my husband he wouldn't have to lift a finger. The look on his face assured me that if I didn't make good on that promise there would be some explaining to do!

Right now, Pinterest Wild Hair and I are experiencing a rain delay, which only gives me more time with my DIY crack web site and I have used the time well. I am no longer just a re-pinner, borrowing other people's ideas and peppering my boards with pictures of their realities to feed my insatiable dreams. I have PINNED! I thought I was addicted before, but noooooo. The game has been elevated to a new level with my first contribution to the cyber dream world. I posted a photo of my new wine barrel garden and something amazing happened. People re-pinned me! They like me, they really like me! My email box overflowed with notifications that my little photo was  being added to boards with titles like "My Dream Home" "Favorite Ideas" and "Things I Should Do". The high is better than any drug and I can't wait until my latest project is completed so I can pin again!!

I guess if you are going to have a wild hair there could be worse ones than the Pinterest Wild Hair. The house is looking great and the backyard is becoming the oasis I have always envisioned. There is only one problem, and unfortunately it is a pretty big one. Every time I pick up the computer, iPad or phone new ideas and photos magically appear further fueling my Pinterest Wild Hair. We might be in for a long roller coaster ride this time!

Notes to self and other random thoughts...

These are a few of life’s mysteries, facts and fictions that are clouding my mind lately.

·        Men can’t fold ANYTHING. I have watched my husband and I fold the same towel, using the same motions and one comes out neat and straight and the other one, not so much.

·        Musical instruments cost a FORTUNE. The clarinet we just “rented” for our daughter cost more than my first car!

·        Football is not for wimps. I know this one seems a no brainer, but you would be amazed at the kids on my son’s pee wee tackle football league. Seriously, if your kid cries over small bumps and trips he is not going to fair well when that 100 pound second grader with an attitude comes running at him with the intent of bodily harm.

·        Money disappears. ‘Nuff said.

·        Laundry appears from nowhere.

·        When you want a project done it will not seem like it will be that hard, meanwhile, to your spouse who is dragged into helping with said project will KNOW it is the hardest project you have ever devised.

·        Spouse will cave in and do any project when you threaten to hire someone to do it. (Deep down he knew all along it wasn’t going to be THAT hard).

·        Wanting to grow something in your garden is a noble and rewarding task, but it doesn’t change that fact that you not only have a black thumb but all your fingers and even toes are as black as coal.

·        Women can justify just about anything.

·        Really smart women can make it so they don’t need to justify it, but instead are just going along with and supporting someone else’s brilliant idea that they themselves aren’t sure where the idea came from!

·        There are not enough acceptable cocktail hours.

·        Toys that make noise should be outlawed. Even more so, the ones that do make noise that you give your child permission to take into the bathtub in hopes that it will cease that incessant chatter only to come back alive at precisely midnight and scare the living shit out of you, should include the phone number of the inventor so you can call them to scream bloody murder at them at midnight because if you are wide awake then by God, so should they!

·        There is never enough time.

·        Love makes the world go around and sometimes you just need to get off the ride for a while.

·        Family is the greatest joy and the root to all evil.

·        Money really does disappear…without a trace.

·        If you are calling me to sell something it would be in your best interest to have a live person that can actually respond in a timely manner when I say “hello” and not some computer animated douche bag that I can very easily hang up on without a miniscule amount of remorse.

·        If you are calling me to donate to your worthy cause be forewarned, guilt does not work on me because I was raised on guilt and am sufficiently immune.

·        Houses make the strangest noises when you are all alone.

·        If it doesn’t have fur it has no business being a pet.

·        Good books are worth every dime.

·        Good books borrowed from a friend means more money you can spend on the bottle of wine you can share.

·        Book clubs are women’s way of getting together, talking crap and drinking wine with really good friends. I REALLY NEED A BOOK CLUB!!

·        A clear head is a breeding ground for insane ideas.

·        I have the best insane ideas.

Love

Love comes in a million shapes and sizes. It appears when we least expect it and disappears in the same fashion. It is fluid and ever changing, challenging, easy, rewarding, enlightening, devastating and crippling. Research has proven time and again that we can not live without it, yet our natural human defenses continually push it away. It is the greatest wonder of the world but we continually stumble to define what it should be and place unnecessary restraints on it. Love is a gift and therefore you should accept it graciously, treasure it, take care of it and it is the only gift that it is completely acceptable to re-gift!

As I get older I have definitely become more cynical and love doesn't come as easy and carefree as it did in my youth. I watch my daughter with her friends and the laughter and hugs they share are pure and untainted and I have to remind myself that at one point in my life, love was that easy for me too. My trips around the proverbial block have left their marks on me, some meer surface wounds and others deep gaping gashes that occasionally flare up and cause a bit of pain. The saying that time heals all wounds is really quite accurate but what they forget to tell you is that in the mean time additional wounds can and usually do occur. We are never fully healed. We are never fully whole.

I have also learned that a true love is different for everyone. What I love about my husband or my family might drive another insane. Does this make those things wrong? For me, no, for others, maybe. Could someone else love me like my husband does? No. We have our own unique things that we share that I would never be able to share with another. Our past shapes our love the same as our goals and desires for the future. We are better for the hurts and pains we have caused each other. We have been to rock bottom and fought our way out and we have learned that while we are fine and capable individuals, we are truly better people with each other.

I would say that all of my friends also share that kind of love, but some of them just don't know it yet. Some might never know it and others might walk away from it out of fear, ignorance, exhaustion or many other things that just seem unsurvivable. They all have their struggles and as an observer it is amazing to see them bond together when the going gets rough. Their love is deep and the surface battles they might be facing often robs them of the everyday simple pleasures that remind them of their love. Although, deep down those adversities are feeding their love, strengthening their bonds and solidifying their commitment to each other. If they can just make it to the other side I firmly believe that true love never dies, it just gets lost and you have to be willing to hunt for it.

Love's greatest enemy is time. We are a society of instant gratification mongers and we unnecessarily place unrealistic restraints on love. "If he doesn't call me by 3 we are done". "We haven't had time together for months and I am over it." "I just don't have time for this crap". Oh, we have all uttered those words but when you are talking about a life long love, does a 3 hour, 3 day, 3 month or even 3 year deadline seem fair? If you have the intention of spending a lifetime with someone the first thing you need to get rid of is the pressure of doing things on a set time line. Life happens and it almost NEVER happens when it is convenient. You have to adapt, adjust and let things run their course. It isn't going to happen on a strict timeline. Let it go. Keep working toward your goals, but don't put unnecessary road blocks like time restraints in your path.

Love isn't cheap! I do not mean in the monetary sense, but in the fact that it is constantly needing something to keep it going. It could be something as little as a well timed smile, holding a hand when they need it the most or buying their favorite fruit even though it is out of season and ridiculously expensive. While grand gestures are fun and rewarding those usually aren't the things you remember the most. I will never forget the look on my husband's face when he first saw me in my wedding dress. When I was fighting with the insurance company on our home claim and he dropped everything to just listen in on the conference call just in case I needed him. When we are having an ice cream craving and he offers to go to the store because it is 10 o'clock at night and I am in my jammies. When he rough houses with our son and helps our daughter with her math homework because these are just things I am not good at. Those are the things that I remember. Those are the things that feed our love and touch my soul. Those are at the core of why I love him.

Love is a gift. Treasure it and then gift it back. Today.

Mini Van Land

I will begrudgingly admit that I am a "Soccer Mom". Yes, my main job is to cart my little creations here and there to their various activities, play dates, birthday parties, appointments and the such. I live in a community that being a stay at home mom is the norm and let me tell you that means one thing...an abundance of Mini Vans.

I have come to believe that when one purchases a mini van there is some fine print that is not included on other vehicle purchase agreements. Namely, you must give up the portion of your brain that will allow you to drive like a normal human being. Now, I have plenty of friends that drive these offending abominations to the road, and while they are wonderful, witty and intelligent people out of their vehicles I firmly believe that the mini van literally sucks their brain once they enter the drivers seat. The sucked out portion is replaced with the can't make a left turn, four way stop shut down and parking lot paralysis.

These afflictions make dropping off my children at their local elementary school a trial of both my patience and sanity. Every morning I enter the mini van breeding ground and I can feel my ability to function begin to be drained from their mere presence. By the time I am done in the drop off loop my fingers are griping the wheel and my foot is begging for the open road. Blood pressure is off the charts and the urge to just ram something is at times overwhelming. The process from start to finish is approximately 6 minutes. The most hated 6 minutes of my day.

Maybe it effects me more because I like to drive. I am a driver. I enjoy the open road, the feel of a powerful engine, the responsiveness of an excellently built vehicle and I am pretty sure I am the long lost daughter of an Andriette or Ferrari in my Italian heritage. My husband is a driver as well. When we go on family vacations we almost always drive unless there is a big ocean in the way. Although, once we get over the ocean we head straight to the rental agency and pile into our vehicle of choice. We even rented an RV in Europe for 2 weeks and had the time of our lives, once the jet lag wore off.

I even enjoy "Dude" movies if the right car is involved. Just this week I have watched The Italian Job (being Mini owners we LOVE this film) and the Transporter (a BMW and Jason Statham does life get any better?). I have even ordered the soundtrack from the Transporter from Switzerland because the US version does not have the awesome mix they play during his driving scenes. My husband is a little nervous for the CD to arrive because he knows this means a road trip and maybe a little role playing in the car. I might even let him be the Jason Statham character once or twice.

In the meantime I am sentenced to my life in Mini Van Land and the dreaded 6 minute loop of hell. I will resist the brain sucking power of these mighty beasts and vow to help those afflicted by their mind altering side effects. I will offer to drive whenever possible and remind all those around me what the true driving experience should be. Windows down, hair blowing, radio cranked, open road, engine revving all while hugging a tight turn. Ahhh, the joy of driving...aww crap, time to pick them up!

A Bowl by any other name...

I am not a sports fan. While I enjoy watching a game here or there and even have preferred teams, I rarely sit down to watch a game. Usually it is a case of flipping through the channels and stumbling upon a game that I can watch and more than likely only because nothing better caught my eye. I am even married to a man that for the most part can take it or leave it as far as main stream sports are concerned. Now, any alternative, endurance or obscure sporting event he is all over. I have become a fan by default of such sports as cycling, rugby, triathlons and curling, to name a few.

With all this being said, there are just a few things that I think should remain the same as far as sports are concerned. There should always be a March Madness in college basketball. The idea that an obscure team from a college no one has ever heard of has as much of a chance to advance as a big 10 school is what fuels our hopes and dreams. The Olympics should be a huge deal. We should stop as a nation and applaud the athletes that represent all that is good in our country, the freedom to peruse your passion regardless of what it is even if it does involve pushing a disk on a piece of ice while sweeping a broom. Baseball must have the 7th inning stretch because wiout it when would we have the opportunity to bail out without being obvious. And college football bowl games should not change names.

As I sit here this New Year's Day I am faced with the delima of which bowl game to watch. The Kraft Fight Huunger Bowl looks interesting, but since I am starting a diet today I think it would be in my best interest to avoid reminders of both food and hunger. This also wipes out the Chik-Fil-A Bowl for obvious reasons. The Ticketcity.com bowl could be interesting if I had any idea what Ticketcity.com is or where the game could possibly be held. Is there a Ticketcity.com in the USA? Did a city struggling to balance their budget finally sell out the enire city to make a buck?

What is this crap? What happened to the Sugar, Cotton and Orange Bowls? Nice simple names that you had an idea of where the game was going to be played? Now the names of the games are after thoughts as the corporate sponsors either throw their names in front of the bowl name or obliterate the old name all together. The only game that I can swallow is the Rose Bowl. It is still the Rose Bowl. It is generously brought to us by Vizio. Thank you Vizio for not raping the sacred institution of the 123rd Rose Bowl by shoving your name in front of the roses. It will be the only bowl game I will watch this year because it looks good, smells great and isn't a corporate whore.