Summer Vacation to Do List

Summer Vacation is rapidly approaching and being the good mom that I am (cue the uncomfortable cough and advert your eyes) I have begun to dream up all the wonderful things we are going to do.

Then I stopped laughing and came up with the following Summer Vacation to do lists:

What I say we are going to do

VS.

What we are really going to do

What I say: We are going to go to the beach a lot this summer!

What will really happen: We will hit the community pool at least once a week but I will throw in new pool floaties to distract everyone from the fact we are not at an actual beach. Because let's face it, I really don't have any desire to partake in the hours of planning and lugging crap that is involved with an actual trip to the beach.


What I say: We will have all your friends over for a fun filled slumber party with games and activities.

What will really happen: At the last minute I will text some of your girlfriends to come over and I will order a pizza and soda and you can play Wii games and jump on the trampoline. To make it special I will let you all pick out your own donuts in the morning, sufficiently sugaring everyone up just in time for their parents to pick them up. My lack of sleep for a night should equate to everyone suffering with me the next day.


What I say: We will go for bike rides in the park.

What will really happen: I will call my friends and have them bring thier kids to the park and we will watch you ride your bikes around while we try to not die of heat exposure. I will make a great effort to not forget to pack extra water for everyone but being that it is summer break, Mommy's brain will be taking a little vacation of its own so don't count on me remembering much.


What I say: We will go have lunch with Daddy at work.

What will really happen: There will be some lunches out, it will just be without Daddy because he doesn't like the same restaurants that Mommy does, but Mommy's girlfriends do and if they are lucky we will let the kids tag along


What I say: We will read a ton of books together, expanding our vocabulary and challenging our minds during the summer break so we will be well preparred for the new school year.

What will really happen: We won't touch a book until 3 days before school starts and will try to cram the entire suggested reading list in 2 days. Note to self - check to see if they have Clif Notes for Captain Underpants books.


What I say: We will go on a fun filled family camping trip.

What will really happen: Kids will sleep out on the master bedroom balcony and we will leave the door open so we can hear them. If they really want the outdoor experience they can pitch a tent on the lawn but be forewarned, I have no control over when the sprinklers come on so camp at your own risk.


What I say: We will visit multicultural and mind altering museums this summer.

What will really happen: We will look up stuff on the iPad and Wikipedia from the comfort of our own sofa. Occasionally we will throw in a history related movie or TV show. Heck, I learn something every time I watch Phineus and Ferb so I am certain the kids are as well.


What I say: We will have the best summer ever.

What will really happen: We will have the best summer ever!