Louie de Gumper

 

It’s been 2 days since we said goodbye and I still feel like every room I am in doesn’t have enough oxygen. Today I took care of your food bowl and the finality of it brought me to my knees. I find myself looking at your favorite rest spots in the yard and I don’t know if my want or need to see you there is stronger. My heart is broken.

I want you to know you are the best dog ever. You were so much more than my pet. You and I went through so much these past 14 ½ years that I am not sure if my heart will ever be whole again. You were the first reason anyone called me Mom. You taught me how to love someone else more than myself. You gave me your unconditional love and never judged me. Even when we were apart, the thought of you never failed to make me smile. You made me a better person.

I know that I have to let you go now and in my head I know it was the right thing to do, but getting my heart to understand that is really challenging. There are so many memories that I don’t ever want to forget…

               Like how much you loved the lake in Kansas. You had so many friends there and to watch you run free with all the other dogs was so much fun.

               When we tried to take you on a canoe ride when you were a puppy and you were so excited you stood up and we flipped over! We were all soaking wet but the afternoon spent on the river’s edge drying off was one of the best days ever.

               When we moved back to California and you were a little upset so you kept licking holes in the walls. To this day I am not sure how you managed it, but I know fixing those suckers was not an easy task!
 

               Taking you hiking all over this country. You were always up for a good hike no matter how far, high or long. You were a trooper that would go anywhere we went.

               Being my first and best running partner. You were a major reason why I started to run and you were the best partner. You were fine with whatever pace I set and stayed right beside me.

               When you watched over me when I was pregnant with the girl. Those 4 months of bed rest it was just you and me all day every day and you never left my side. You watched over me and were there for me when I needed someone to lean on. You knew I needed you and I don’t know if I ever thanked you enough.

               You have watched over both kids like they were your own. You tolerated them trying to ride you, pull your hair, dress you up like a princess, played the role of ninja puppy monster and so much more. Your patience with the kids never wavered, even in the end. You were always the perfect gentleman.

               You loved the water. You tried to eat the ocean waves and ride the surf. You were our first swimmer!  We could never keep you out of the pool and on hot days we always knew you could be found lounging on the first pool step.

               You always loved to walk yourself. You would take the lead away from me and proudly walk with it in your mouth. You knew you could do a much better job at it than I ever could!

               You were the smartest dog and I know you understood every word I ever said to you. Your eyes were the window to your soul and in them was so much kindness and compassion. Your eyebrows gave us the words you could never say. How you could cock one eyebrow and quickly switch to the other never got old and always made me smile.

               There will never be another smile like yours. Your whole face lit up when you smiled and there was no mistaking how happy you were. I will miss your smile.

 

I could go on for pages and pages of all the wonderful memories, but these are just a few that I never want to forget.

Louie, please know you were loved. Please know that you will forever be in our hearts and souls. Please know that the gifts you gave we could never repay. I know I am a better mom, friend, and person because of you. I know that we never deserved such an awesome dog, but I thank God every day that he put you in our lives.

 

 

Love you Louie, forever and always.

 

Louis de Gumper

 

October 21, 1998 - May 21, 2013

AKA:

Louie, Lou Lou, Lump, Lumpie, Gumper, Lou Dog, and simply The Best!

 

 

              

To my daughter

My dear sweet Sidne Kailani,

You gave me the greatest gift today of being your mom. I have cared, loved and nurtured you for over 11 years now, but today I got a glimps of who you truly are and the amazing young woman you are becoming.

Today we were at a swim meet, like many other weekends before and I am sure many more weekends to come. Dad couldn't be there because of work so it was just the three of us and as swim meets often are, it was hectic. You patiently waited all morning while your brother swam and I helped out around the meet. You checked in, got ready and found your coach for warm up all on your own. You took control of the situation and did what you had to do and that is when it hit me...you are no longer my baby girl.

Swimming is such a big part of your life I should of known that any big changes in who you are would manifest itself somewhere in the pool. The last few months you have attacked practices with a single minded determination and a take no prisoners attitude and I should of seen the signs there. But as you already know, your mother is sometimes slow and it didn't hit me until today, watching your swims, amazed at the time drops and proud of every goal you achieved today that you have grown up on me.

Gone is my little girl that got in the pool to swim and talk with her friends, replaced with my young lady who has set her own goals, knows what she wants and most importantly...knows what it takes to get there. You still love your friends and still want to hang out, but it comes second to your practice. The results of this new found determination was evident in your times today. You ROCKED! I loved watching every race you were in but for very different reasons than just a couple of weeks ago.

I am always proud of you. In the pool, out of the pool, at school and even at home when you are driving me crazy! But today was different. Don't get me wrong...your swims were amazing, your times were blazing fast and watching you get spring JO times was pretty fricking awesome! But today what overwhelmed all that was my pride in who you are. Every race you got on the block for you knew what you wanted to achieve. We never discussed your times, your goals or your strategy...that was all between you and your coach. You were in complete control and you handled the pressure with maturity and grace and I have never been prouder of you. Every success you had today was because of your hard work, your initiative and your determination.

You are amazing. You are everything I could have ever hoped for in a daughter and so much more. I am overwhelmed by the pride I have in you and I am so blessed to be your mom. Thank you for letting me be a part of your amazing journey, for helping you along the way, for accepting the love I have for you and giving me back so much more than I deserve.

I love you Pooh Bear!

Mom

The Thumb of Destruction

This is my thumb, the thumb of destruction. While it appears to be like any regular thumb, my thumb has amazing capabilities that the average thumb just could not fathom to accomplish. This thumb can kill any plant within a 100 yard radius with just a slight flick in its direction. As you can see, this thumb is not green and even the black shroud of deadly garden thumbs is afraid to color this mass weapon of destruction. Garden Gnomes cower in its presence and plastic flamingos are known to take miraculous flight to avoid the Thumb's unrestrained annihilation of the surrounding landscape. This Thumb knows no boundaries and previous attempts at harnessing its powers have proven futile.

Yet, in all this destruction and despair there is one thing that manages to not only live in the presence of the Thumb, but actually thrives in spite of all attempts both intentional and unintentional to thwart it...WEEDS!

Yes, I can manage to kill your everyday lawn grass but the weed population in my garden manages to continually expand even in light of my continued use of Round-Up, weed and feed sprays, pellets and such and the numerous attempts I have made to yank these little devils out by their roots! It appears that not only do the existing weeds laugh in the face of my attempts, but there must be an underground communications system that alerts all the weeds in the neighborhood that my yard is an ultimate weed utopia. Just when I think there couldn't be another weed that I have not encountered, a new one appears from out of no where! Weeds are not only thriving in my yard, but they are cross breeding to make the preeminent weed of destruction.

As I knelt in my garden last night, yanking weed after weed out of my feeble attempt of a flower bed, I began to wonder...who in their right mind decided that a weed is a weed? Seriously, someone somewhere some long time ago sat in a greenhouse and made the determination that a hearty, drought tolerant plant that does not appear to need fertilizers, food, a precise amount of sun or shade or any other high maintenance requirements is not only unneeded but unwanted in a civilized garden. What friggin' idiot came to that conclusion? I don't have to do a dang thing to my weeds and they not only survive but thrive! But if I even make an attempt to purchase, replant and grow what has been deemed an appropriate garden plant I am faced with the daunting tasks of supplying the proper soil, nutrition and special handling in hopes that the delicate bloom will survive the trauma that is experienced while it is replanted. I don't know about your success rate with this task, but mine is well under 50/50. More like 90/10...meaning 10% actually make it out alive!

Meanwhile, a weed can be yanked out by its root, thrown across the yard onto a concrete slab, and it will find a way to take root and keep on growing. Simultaneously, the infinitesimal weed root that was left deep in the soil will shortly reach for the sky and another weed will appear to take the previous inhabitants space. These weeds do not know what weakness is. They show no fear and march on in their quest for garden domination!

Therefore, I am making this proclamation and I hope that all other members of the Thumbs of Destruction community will join me...Weeds are GOOD! Weeds should no longer be looked at as the evil intruder, but the welcomed guest. We should abandon the long hours, money and resources to nurture the so called "popular" plants and instead embrace the simplicity and understated beauty of the Weed. It is long overdue that weeds have their time in the sun, so to speak, and we appreciate them for their hearty dispositions and eagerness to grow and flourish. If we band together we can "thumb" our Thumbs of Destruction at the establishment and no longer be slaves to the silly "norm". Think about the freedom of time and money when you are no longer spending weekends at Home Depot, clunking down hundreds of dollars, paying exorbitant water bills and cowering before your HOA!

We can do this people! Let Weeds set you free!  Are you with me?

Ode to a Swim Mom

I am a Swim Mom through and through

Only others like me know the pain that ensues

I am at the pool morning, noon and night

Chlorine is the perfume of my life

Our success is not measured in a game won or lost

But by the 100th of a second either added or dropped

We are known to travel both far and wide

Often times to pools impossible to find

Getting up and going before the rising sun

All for 30 seconds of a race that starts at 1

 

We pay for private lessons, special gear and such

My other friends balk when I tell them how much

Keeping up on the latest technology is a full time career

But a $200 knee suit could make the race of the year

But all this insanity has its ups too

My kids are exhausted when the day is through

I guess I should feel guilty when they swim 5000 yards anight

But it beats having them climbing the walls, which alwaysends in a fight

Swim keeps them out of trouble, keeps them healthy too

Keeps me and their Dad from going insane and locked up in azoo

The friendships we have found on the side of the pool

Make all of the practices and meets always so cool

So when you see my car heading down the road

Heading to some pool you don’t even know

Know that I am exactly where I want to be

Because I am a Swim Mom, yes, that is me

Please say a prayer

They say that bad things come in threes so when a couple of crappy things started happening I should of braced myself, but I don't think any amount of bracing could of prepared me for the news I received today.

A wonderful woman that I have had the privilege to know, love and call my friend is losing her battle with breast cancer. She has been fighting this horrible disease for a few years now but for some reason it doesn't appear that God is going to let her win this one. My heart hurts. I try to tell myself that there is a bigger plan that we just don't know about, but the selfish side of me is pissed and frustrated and grasping at anything to try and make sense of this great loss.

Marsi is remarkable. She has faced her disease head on with the most optimistic attitude that I have ever seen. She has kept her humor, her love of life and her compassion for others throughout her battle. She has taught us all what it truly means to be a fighter and a survivor. She carries herself with such grace and kindness that anyone that is blessed to cross her path is forever touched by the true goodness that is Marsi. She makes you want to be a better person and in her actions she shows you how. She is light.

She is surrounded by a family that holds her up, loves her, comforts her and cherishes her. She makes it easy for them to be everything for her because they are her everything. Her husband has always referred to her as his bride even many years and 2 kids later. Her children are a pure joy to be around and they carry in them all the warmth and compassion that they so obviously learned from her. She and her husband have taught them how to love unconditionally and in the face of adversity. They will always be the most solid family I have had the privilege of knowing.

So with my heavy heart I ask you to say a prayer for Marsi. Say a prayer for a woman that taught me what it was to be a true friend. Say a prayer for her husband and children that they will find peace during this difficult time. Say a prayer for the plan that God has in mind, that those that love her will one day understand why He had to have her face this battle. Say a prayer for everyone tonight that has faced, is facing or will face this awful disease. Say a prayer for your loved ones and kiss them a few extra times tonight.

Marsi, I love you.


Update:

Marsi lost her battle with cancer on July 13, 2012. While her body could no longer fight, her heart and soul will continue to soar through the lives of her amazing husband and their beautiful children. I am saddened to lose my friend but am so thankful I was a small part of her journey.

You have GOT to be kidding me!

It has been a week from hell and it is only Tuesday. There is no possible way I am going to manage to navigate my way to Friday because the road is infested with stupid people.

First on my list is good 'ol Bank of America. Yes, I know we should switch banks and not be subject to the horrors of this conglomerate of stupidity, but we have banked with them for so long, have so many accounts with them, so many direct pays and auto pays that the thought of switching is twitch enducingly frightening. That being said I might have found my motivation to do it in the last 24 hours.

About 2 1/2 weeks ago they contacted my husband and told him they suspected fraudulent activity on his ATM card. OK, thanks for being on the ball and letting us know and canceling the card. Unfortunatly, there was a little mix up in reissuing a new card. See, the person that called my husband made a few crucial mistakes. One, they assumed that he had even a basic knowledge of our accounts and two, they assumed that we still resided in the state we opened our accounts in. The first one should have been realized within the first two minutes of the conversation because I know my husband and he would of told anyone he spoke to to contact me. The second could have been avoided if they just took a second to look at the address of record on the account. Instead, they told my husband to go into a banking center and get a new card. Big mistake, huge, enormous mistake!

Unfortunatly, BofA California, where we live, does not talk to BofA for the rest of the country, which is where we opened these accounts. They are on totally different computer, operating  and management systems and can not even share information. At least, this is what I have been told numerous times by BofA employees. So in order for my husband to go to a banking center and obtain a new card we would have to travel to another state! Why in the hell would you tell someone to go to a banking center where they live knowing full well that that banking center cant do jack crap for you!

Now fast forward two weeks later and countless nights of him borrowing my card to get gas, food and other things one normally needs during an average week. We are patiently waiting for the card, but the patient level is dwindling fast. Knowing that my husband doesn't have the time nor the desire to try to navigate the endless voicemail hell that a BofA customer service call would entail, the phone call is bounced to my court. Really, no problem and I am happy to do it. They canceled it and I just need to tell him he never got a replacement card and he can't go to a banking center and they will reissue another one. How hard can it be to request a replacement card for one they canceled to the name and address of record? Let me tell you...IT IS A NIGHTMARE!

I spent 45 minutes yesterday arguing with Rosie that this is a simple request and I would like it to be done. She argued with me that they had to talk to him to verify his identity. Seriously, what do you want to know because I have it all. Date of Birth? Social Security Number? Mother's maiden name? Blood Type? I know all this crap better than he does! I have been the office manager of our Family, Inc. operation for what seems like forever. Rosie wouldn't budge, so I asked to speak to someone that could approve my request and I was transferred to a voice mail! I left my terse message with very clear instructions, don't call me back unless you are going to tell me the card is on its way.

Well, they called back and they not only didn't tell me it was on the way but now I got to argue with someone new all over again. This time I only wasted 10 minutes before asking for a supervior and I was told she was it. So I called bullshit. Unless you are the Chairman of the Board for BofA you have a fricking boss and I want to speak to them. She refused but continued to tell me she understood my frustration and the reasons I was upset. If she understood so well then why couldn't she just hit the damn button to reissue the card. She didn't understand anything and I told her so and added to her vast understanding that if she told me she understood again she was going to really make me angry. I think I put the fear of God into her with that statement because I was already well off my rocker and sliding rapidly down a slippery slope of off the charts hysterics.

Ok, so I changed tactics. I asked her what their policy was when they suspected fradulent activity.

Me: "When an ATM Card is suspected of fraud do you reissue another card?"
Her: "Usually, Yes"
Me: "And you didn't in this case"
Her: "No"
Me: "So, how about you issue one now"
Her: "I can't do that without speaking to your husband"
Me: "Do you call the customer before or after you suspend the card?"
Her: "After"
Me: "So you can cancel the account without speaking to the customer but you can't reissue the card without speaking to them"
Her: "That is correct"
Me: "Does that make any logical sense?"
Her: "No, but I don't know the circumstances regarding the cancelation of your card, that would be our ATM department"
Me: "Well, maybe we should talk to someone there that can clear this up for both of us"

And that is where Crystal came in. Within 3 minutes Crystal reviewed the account, verified that they indeed made an error and would reissue the card and send it out FedEx within 2 business days.

REALLY? All that and the solution was from a customer service representative in their ATM department. I had talked to the highest supervisor and she couldn't make it happen, but Crystal, the everyday customer service rep could. I think Crystal needs a raise and a promotion over Rosie and all of her superviors because they are dumb as dirt but Crystal obviously understands the basic business principal we were all raised on. THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!

Now with the Bank of America situation under control I am off to conquer the State of California...more on that little fiasco later!

Brand of Crazy

We all have a different brand of crazy. When I say all, I truly mean each and every single living soul has their own ways they act crazy. Some are good, some bad, and some are down right dangerous. The key to survival is to recognize your own crazy and migrate to either others just like you or a complementary crazy.

Take me and my husband. I am the fly off the handle, can't hide a single emotion, must express all feelings in an obvious manner type of crazy. While my husband is the calm, cool, at times comatose, even keeled type of crazy. His crazy scares me, as it should everyone, because we all know the strong silent types have some dark shit brewing under that cool surface. On the other hand, he doesn't know how I manage to keep it together when he sees me go through an emotionally trying time. I guess you could say I am the ying to his yang, but really we are just compatible crazy people.

I could never live with someone just like me. We would kill each other or blow up something within 24 hours. The same goes for my husband. If he lived with someone just like him nothing would get done and any conflict would stew and fester for years before anyone would deal with it. Yeah, they would stay together but they would silently hate each other but would never tell each other because no one would want to rock the boat. See what I mean about ugly shit just under the surface.

So, in my observations here are some of the brands that crazy comes in:

Mean crazy - this is an ugly crazy. These are the people that take all emotions out in a mean way. Instead of dealing with it, crying it out, screaming or anything resembling constructive, they just get mean. They say mean things, treat people cruelly and most of the time to people they aren't even mad at. They are just mean and angry people, what I like to refer to as angry elves.

Silly crazy - some people handle stress by turning into big goof balls. These are some of my favorite crazies because no matter what crap is about to hit the fan, these crazies are going to giggle and goof their way through it. Sometimes this backfires on them in touchy situations such as funerals and such, but most of the time it is just good fun to watch.

Screamer crazy - this one is a little familiar for me because I am a screamer. When my blood is boiling and I am ticked off my voice just gets louder and louder until I resemble a screech owl with an attitude. While in the midst of a screamer attack it is quite scary, once the storm blows over, and it is usually pretty quick, these crazies are usually quick to let go and move on. There is a benefit to being able to scream at the top of your lungs, it gets everything all out and you truly feel free of all the negativity.

Silent crazy - the sit and simmer and you can tell they are upset but when you ask you will be lucky to get a terse "fine". These are some scary crazy people because you just know that there is going to come a point and this crazy is going to BLOW!

Airhead crazy - this crazy you really can't get mad at because they themselves don't really have a clue of what is going on. Sometimes this crazy is also referred to as blonds. They are happily living in their own bubble and don't have a clue what is going on around them. There are many days I try to visit airhead crazy land because it just seems so calm and stress free.

Know It All crazy - now this crazy does get you mad because you just can't win with them. Or get a word in edgewise. Or have a valid opinion unless it is identical to theirs. Or have a good idea. Or a plethora of other things. They exhaust you by their mere presence. Heck, I am tired just thinking about these kind of crazies.

Strong crazy - you know these types, the I can handle anything because I am strong. I can lift small buildings, I can fight off an alien attack, I can nurse a small bird back to life, I do it all because I am STRONG. Bullshit. No one is that strong and usually when these strong types are faced with an emotional crazy type they fold up like a piece of origami. Emotional crazy doesn't play by they rules of logic and strong crazy does. Kills them every time.

Weak crazy - these are the ones that usually piss off all the other crazies. Just own up to your crazy and handle your shit. These are the people that are just to emotionally frail to handle anything. If they do something wrong and are called on the carpet for it, they usually turn into crying heaps of dung and nothing gets solved. They are never responsible for their crazy because they are to weak to help that they are crazy.

Emotional crazy - these are the types that feel everything A LOT! I think in the medical field they might refer to this as bi-polar, but it is just another normal type of crazy if you ask me. When they are sad they are in the pits of despair. When they are happy they want the whole world to be happy with them. When they are angry it is a national crisis and when they are hurt the world should stop and comfort them. They just feel everything to the extreme. That must be very tiring.

Parental crazy - momma bears, I'm telling Dad and all those other cliches are there for a reason because parents are CRAZY. And there are 2 types of parental crazy. The "nothing is going to hurt my baby and I will fight anyone that tries" crazy, which is usually reserved for parents of underage children. Then you have the crazy parents that go off the deep end and even their kids don't know what the heck to do with them. These are the parents that siblings fight over to see who is going to deal with Mom or Dad this time. For some reason these parents think just because they had sex once many years ago and brought a child into this world that those children are fully responsible for their happiness. Those are some crazy parents.

The kicker to all of these types of crazy is that we all have a little of each going on in us. Does this make us unhealthy or unstable? No, as long as we can keep the bad crazies to a minimum and let the silly and fun crazies out a lot more.