Bathroom Issues

Oh, I know what you are thinking...no one needs to hear about this but I beg to differ, someone needs to listen and some changes need to be happening around here. I would like to say I am a laid back type of person that can just go with the flow but that is just crap, pun intended. Pet Peeves? I have a few...thousand. Last night one of my biggest ones reared its ugly head and Momma went on a rampage.

We have 3 bathrooms in this house. Three throne rooms, potties, johns, crappers, piss pots, toities, whatever you want to call them and as I walked through my home EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM HAD SHIT IN IT! No one was currently using them, they were all left abandoned brimming full of foul smelling, gag inducing, SHIT!

What I don't understand is that we are living in the 21st century. We have running water, indoor plumbing and tax payer provided sewage systems. My family does not have to fetch a pail of water, dump a chamber pot or even brave the elements to use the "facilities". Our toilets are modern day marvels that boast all the finest amenities including...wait for it...A FRIGGING LEVER TO FLUSH THE DAMN THING! And this lever is literally inches away from their little hands as they sit on this modern contraption.

I have tried everything to get my kids to flush the toilet. I have asked nicely, begged, yelled, screamed, taken toys away and threatened to flush said toys down the crap infested waters. We even went through a period that if a toilet was found unflushed, regardless who the offending party was, all parties would immediately stop what they were doing and toilets would be cleaned. For about 3 months you could have eaten off my toilets! They sparkled and shined because they were all being cleaned out at least twice a day. Of course we also used enough toilet bowl cleaner to sponsor the Tidy Bowl NASCAR Team all on our own.

Even as I sit here in my office I know full well that there is at least one toilet in my house that is full. The fact that I know at any point of any given day I can stumble across a bowl full of crap is unsettling. Or is it? Can I find comfort in the fact that I know these little idiosyncrasies of my family. Is this one of the things they say you will grow to miss when they grow up and leave the house? Will one day in the future when my children are blazing their own trails of independence, will I gaze longingly into a clean toilet bowl and wish for the days when it was full of shit?

HELL NO! JUST FLUSH THE DAMN TOILET!