Love

Love comes in a million shapes and sizes. It appears when we least expect it and disappears in the same fashion. It is fluid and ever changing, challenging, easy, rewarding, enlightening, devastating and crippling. Research has proven time and again that we can not live without it, yet our natural human defenses continually push it away. It is the greatest wonder of the world but we continually stumble to define what it should be and place unnecessary restraints on it. Love is a gift and therefore you should accept it graciously, treasure it, take care of it and it is the only gift that it is completely acceptable to re-gift!

As I get older I have definitely become more cynical and love doesn't come as easy and carefree as it did in my youth. I watch my daughter with her friends and the laughter and hugs they share are pure and untainted and I have to remind myself that at one point in my life, love was that easy for me too. My trips around the proverbial block have left their marks on me, some meer surface wounds and others deep gaping gashes that occasionally flare up and cause a bit of pain. The saying that time heals all wounds is really quite accurate but what they forget to tell you is that in the mean time additional wounds can and usually do occur. We are never fully healed. We are never fully whole.

I have also learned that a true love is different for everyone. What I love about my husband or my family might drive another insane. Does this make those things wrong? For me, no, for others, maybe. Could someone else love me like my husband does? No. We have our own unique things that we share that I would never be able to share with another. Our past shapes our love the same as our goals and desires for the future. We are better for the hurts and pains we have caused each other. We have been to rock bottom and fought our way out and we have learned that while we are fine and capable individuals, we are truly better people with each other.

I would say that all of my friends also share that kind of love, but some of them just don't know it yet. Some might never know it and others might walk away from it out of fear, ignorance, exhaustion or many other things that just seem unsurvivable. They all have their struggles and as an observer it is amazing to see them bond together when the going gets rough. Their love is deep and the surface battles they might be facing often robs them of the everyday simple pleasures that remind them of their love. Although, deep down those adversities are feeding their love, strengthening their bonds and solidifying their commitment to each other. If they can just make it to the other side I firmly believe that true love never dies, it just gets lost and you have to be willing to hunt for it.

Love's greatest enemy is time. We are a society of instant gratification mongers and we unnecessarily place unrealistic restraints on love. "If he doesn't call me by 3 we are done". "We haven't had time together for months and I am over it." "I just don't have time for this crap". Oh, we have all uttered those words but when you are talking about a life long love, does a 3 hour, 3 day, 3 month or even 3 year deadline seem fair? If you have the intention of spending a lifetime with someone the first thing you need to get rid of is the pressure of doing things on a set time line. Life happens and it almost NEVER happens when it is convenient. You have to adapt, adjust and let things run their course. It isn't going to happen on a strict timeline. Let it go. Keep working toward your goals, but don't put unnecessary road blocks like time restraints in your path.

Love isn't cheap! I do not mean in the monetary sense, but in the fact that it is constantly needing something to keep it going. It could be something as little as a well timed smile, holding a hand when they need it the most or buying their favorite fruit even though it is out of season and ridiculously expensive. While grand gestures are fun and rewarding those usually aren't the things you remember the most. I will never forget the look on my husband's face when he first saw me in my wedding dress. When I was fighting with the insurance company on our home claim and he dropped everything to just listen in on the conference call just in case I needed him. When we are having an ice cream craving and he offers to go to the store because it is 10 o'clock at night and I am in my jammies. When he rough houses with our son and helps our daughter with her math homework because these are just things I am not good at. Those are the things that I remember. Those are the things that feed our love and touch my soul. Those are at the core of why I love him.

Love is a gift. Treasure it and then gift it back. Today.

Mini Van Land

I will begrudgingly admit that I am a "Soccer Mom". Yes, my main job is to cart my little creations here and there to their various activities, play dates, birthday parties, appointments and the such. I live in a community that being a stay at home mom is the norm and let me tell you that means one thing...an abundance of Mini Vans.

I have come to believe that when one purchases a mini van there is some fine print that is not included on other vehicle purchase agreements. Namely, you must give up the portion of your brain that will allow you to drive like a normal human being. Now, I have plenty of friends that drive these offending abominations to the road, and while they are wonderful, witty and intelligent people out of their vehicles I firmly believe that the mini van literally sucks their brain once they enter the drivers seat. The sucked out portion is replaced with the can't make a left turn, four way stop shut down and parking lot paralysis.

These afflictions make dropping off my children at their local elementary school a trial of both my patience and sanity. Every morning I enter the mini van breeding ground and I can feel my ability to function begin to be drained from their mere presence. By the time I am done in the drop off loop my fingers are griping the wheel and my foot is begging for the open road. Blood pressure is off the charts and the urge to just ram something is at times overwhelming. The process from start to finish is approximately 6 minutes. The most hated 6 minutes of my day.

Maybe it effects me more because I like to drive. I am a driver. I enjoy the open road, the feel of a powerful engine, the responsiveness of an excellently built vehicle and I am pretty sure I am the long lost daughter of an Andriette or Ferrari in my Italian heritage. My husband is a driver as well. When we go on family vacations we almost always drive unless there is a big ocean in the way. Although, once we get over the ocean we head straight to the rental agency and pile into our vehicle of choice. We even rented an RV in Europe for 2 weeks and had the time of our lives, once the jet lag wore off.

I even enjoy "Dude" movies if the right car is involved. Just this week I have watched The Italian Job (being Mini owners we LOVE this film) and the Transporter (a BMW and Jason Statham does life get any better?). I have even ordered the soundtrack from the Transporter from Switzerland because the US version does not have the awesome mix they play during his driving scenes. My husband is a little nervous for the CD to arrive because he knows this means a road trip and maybe a little role playing in the car. I might even let him be the Jason Statham character once or twice.

In the meantime I am sentenced to my life in Mini Van Land and the dreaded 6 minute loop of hell. I will resist the brain sucking power of these mighty beasts and vow to help those afflicted by their mind altering side effects. I will offer to drive whenever possible and remind all those around me what the true driving experience should be. Windows down, hair blowing, radio cranked, open road, engine revving all while hugging a tight turn. Ahhh, the joy of driving...aww crap, time to pick them up!

A Bowl by any other name...

I am not a sports fan. While I enjoy watching a game here or there and even have preferred teams, I rarely sit down to watch a game. Usually it is a case of flipping through the channels and stumbling upon a game that I can watch and more than likely only because nothing better caught my eye. I am even married to a man that for the most part can take it or leave it as far as main stream sports are concerned. Now, any alternative, endurance or obscure sporting event he is all over. I have become a fan by default of such sports as cycling, rugby, triathlons and curling, to name a few.

With all this being said, there are just a few things that I think should remain the same as far as sports are concerned. There should always be a March Madness in college basketball. The idea that an obscure team from a college no one has ever heard of has as much of a chance to advance as a big 10 school is what fuels our hopes and dreams. The Olympics should be a huge deal. We should stop as a nation and applaud the athletes that represent all that is good in our country, the freedom to peruse your passion regardless of what it is even if it does involve pushing a disk on a piece of ice while sweeping a broom. Baseball must have the 7th inning stretch because wiout it when would we have the opportunity to bail out without being obvious. And college football bowl games should not change names.

As I sit here this New Year's Day I am faced with the delima of which bowl game to watch. The Kraft Fight Huunger Bowl looks interesting, but since I am starting a diet today I think it would be in my best interest to avoid reminders of both food and hunger. This also wipes out the Chik-Fil-A Bowl for obvious reasons. The Ticketcity.com bowl could be interesting if I had any idea what Ticketcity.com is or where the game could possibly be held. Is there a Ticketcity.com in the USA? Did a city struggling to balance their budget finally sell out the enire city to make a buck?

What is this crap? What happened to the Sugar, Cotton and Orange Bowls? Nice simple names that you had an idea of where the game was going to be played? Now the names of the games are after thoughts as the corporate sponsors either throw their names in front of the bowl name or obliterate the old name all together. The only game that I can swallow is the Rose Bowl. It is still the Rose Bowl. It is generously brought to us by Vizio. Thank you Vizio for not raping the sacred institution of the 123rd Rose Bowl by shoving your name in front of the roses. It will be the only bowl game I will watch this year because it looks good, smells great and isn't a corporate whore.