My Ultimate Mother's Day Wish List

Mother's Day has once again returned and this year I am bound and determined to get something or anything really, that I want. Last year we were traveling for an Ironman event my husband was participating in so the weekend was all about him. My family was quick to note that we went out of town for Mother's Day, but as lovely as St. George, Utah is, that trip had absolutely NOTHING to do about me. I don't even think I got a card. In fact, my husband got injured so I am pretty sure I spent my last Mother's Day driving across the scenic southwestern deserts. WOOOO HOOOO!

So this year my family is generously asking what I would like for Mother's Day. With the craptastic legacy they left behind last year, they really don't have to do much to make this year better. I could probably milk it for something really nice or maybe even a weekend trip someplace that I REALLY would like to visit, but instead what I truly want doesn't cost a thing.

My Ultimate Mother's Day Wish List 

(and feel free to add a comment if you think I might have forgotten something)

1. Do not fight with your sibling - I don't care whose fault it is, if it is or isn't fair or who started it first, but for a full 24 hours don't bitch, bicker, hit, punch, push, shove or even roll your fricking eyes at each other.

2. Clean up after yourselves - I would like to hang my maid uniform up for the day and not have to clean up after you all. What this also means is don't leave it for me to pick up on Monday, because in your little minds, Mother's Day would be over so I would be back to my normal duties.

3. Do your household chores without me nagging - if you are putting something in the trash can and you see that it is full, TAKE IT OUT! If you are outside and notice that the grass needs cut, CUT IT, ALL OF IT! Get the weed wacker out and do the edges too. I should not be the only person in this house that knows how to use power tools.

4. Pick a project - I have my pet peeves and you know them so on this sacred day of showing me some love, pick something that I am always stuck doing because it is a crappy job an no one else will do it. Clean out the garage (it is mostly toys anyway), do some laundry (how many towels do you people really need to use in one week), or maybe weed the yard. I am not saying they all have to be done...just pick one!

5. As much as I love a little peace and quiet, do not use Mother's Day as an excuse to go do something without me. That is just mean. If anyone is doing something fun around here it is ME and the words WINE and SPA should be included!

6. Make the meals and don't ask me what I want! I have to spend all week being a short order cook and master meal planner that on my one day of peace I really don't want to think about what to eat and I really don't want to make it. You all know what I like and as far as food is concerned there really isn't much I don't enjoy. Open the fridge/freezer and I am sure you will find something in there that will tickle me pink. BUT, please remember request #2 when you are through!

7. Let me touch the remote - for one day we can watch what I like to watch. I promise not to saturate the day with DIY shows or reality crap, but there are only so many times I can watch the same sport show and not go postal on everyone. If you can manage to peel it from your tight grasps, I will respect the power of the remote.

8. Let me sleep - I really envision some kind of extra sleep on Mother's Day. It could take the form of a lazy morning of sleeping in or my favorite, an afternoon nap. Here is the catch though, leave me be! Do not come bustling into my room and throwing yourself and your cold little feet under my covers. If you catch me drifting on the sofa, don't choose that time to have a rousing round of who can scream the loudest! Let a sleeping Momma lye, please.

9. Just Do It - and I am not talking the Nike commercial type of crap, I am talking about when I ask you to do something, JUST DO IT. Here is how it is going to roll...Me: "could you please take your shoes upstairs" You: "OK, Mom". OMG - did you see how easy that went. My blood pressure remained stable, I didn't have to resort to yelling at the top of my lungs to pick up your damn shoes and every one's day was a little brighter. Wow, that was refreshing.

10. Remind me why I do it - I love being the Mom, but sometimes it is a thankless, tireless, mundane, crummy, gross, exhausting and all around bummer of a job. Just throw a couple extra smiles my way, maybe an unexpected hug and kiss or the ultimate...a thanks.

Happy Mother's Day!